In the modern world, where information is accessible in a matter of a couple of clicks, and terabytes of content are available upon request, it is not that difficult to obtain various skills online. Theoretical knowledge that lies in the basis of any hard skills can be self-taught through different tutorials uploaded on the web daily. Absolutely every single adroit internet user can utilize this aspect to their benefit and earn a certain degree of proficiency in practically any field. This is why nowadays it is not enough for an individual to only have the hard skills to have a competitor’s advantage. In addition to that, they also need to possess certain soft skills that would lead them to success.
One of such soft skills would be an ability to win people over easily and subsequently, build strong influential relationships with them. This is particularly important as having a wide and varied network of connections is pivotal for positioning yourself high within society. Being able to reach out to other people for help or a simple favor of any kind is pretty much as significant as being able to execute that task yourself. In fact, outsourcing — delegating your responsibilities to those who would carry out the chores more efficiently — is currently one of the key trends not only in the business world but actually in every sphere of our lives. Thus, those who can get people on their side are universally praised and are frequently in high demand among headhunters.
Usually, leadership is an inherited feature, so some men are naturally more inclined to get others to follow them (sometimes even on a subconscious level) and respect them profusely. However, just like any other personal trait, with a fair amount of effort and wise approach to the situation, the aptness of building relationships can be developed by an eager individual.
The most favorable condition in which one would like to find themselves is where they are the one to reciprocate feelings. This implies you are simply reacting to someone else’s attempt to associate with you. However, such things rarely happen in real life, unless you already have a large circle of influential connections, which makes you a desirable contact to have in the address book. If you are yet yo be in that position, though, it is always that you should be the one to take the situation into your own hands and make the first move.
There are two ways in which one can go to get other people to like them. One way would be taking the position of a follower to establish a close relationship with an influential figure. An example of such could be a new employee sending an email to their boss, extolling the latter and trying to get their graces. However, this is very unlikely to result in an actual influential relationship. While the boss might be rather benevolent with the aforementioned employee, they will never view them as equal and will always treat them as inferior. Simply because by flattering the authority figure, the employee put themselves into a position beneath.
Hence, one of the integral parts of building an influential relationship is to make people view you as equal. One could achieve it by posing a threat to those they would like to create a connection with so that they would have a reason to establish such. However, relationships built on mutual distrust do not last long and frequently turn out to be extremely toxic. So, if you want the influential relationship to be healthy and genuine, you should earn it some other ways. There are different methods of how one can achieve this:
Be Confident, yet Not Forceful
One of the things that are particularly important in promoting your ideas and competing for visibility within a society is to know exactly what you are doing and being assertive in your intentions. However, it is absolutely pivotal to deliver the information you want to get noticed with calmness and confidence as influence rarely comes with anger and screams. In fact, being hostile has the opposite effect: people will not treat you as a figure that can potentially have power if you are not able to even cope with your own emotions.
On the other hand, arguments — when your point is valid, and you truly believe in it — can boost your authority. As long as you structure your argument well, and avoid unreasonable arguments, you can convince your opponent in your correctness.
Flexibility Is Important
While it may be seen as a contradiction to the previous point since it has been advised to be assertive, you need to remember that sometimes it is best to give in to your opponent and find a midpoint between the two of your beliefs. Negotiation is a crucial part of any relationship, and being open to viewing other points is an extremely likable trait a lot of people admire. So, if you want to come across as someone worth having a conversation with, make sure you do not shut other people’s ideas down just because they are not hundred percent compatible with your own ones.
Establish Trust
Trust lies in the foundation of any long-term stable relationship, so if you are willing to build such, you need to grow mutual trust with the person you are looking to connect with. Unless you fully trust each other and have proven to be reliable partners, you cannot really count on each other, which is one of the most important parts of having an influential relationship.
Give the other person an idea that you are always there to keep their secret, provided they will be there to hold your back in return. Influential relationships are built on this attitude of being mutually beneficial for both parties involved.
Be Consistent
The only way in which you can get the other person to trust you is not only to promise them things but also act accordingly. By being consistent in your words and actions, you can persuade the other person that you are a trustworthy individual and can be relied on.
Establish a Personal Connection
As has already been stated, trust is a mutual phenomenon. Hence you need to give up some personal information, too. To show the other person you believe them and see them as equal, you have to let them into your brains and let them get to know you. Of course, you are the one who limits the amount of information they are welcome to learn about you. But the more you share about yourself, the more you can expect in return.
Respect Is Key
This is implied in all the previous points but still needs to be reinforced to delineate the extent of the importance of being respectful towards the person you want to build an influential relationship with. If you do not treat them as equal, neither will they. Respect needs to be reciprocated.
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